Buses are difficult (Espoo, Finland)

So... Buses. Buses are, I concede, more practical than trains. Trains are restricted to tracks which are expensive and so forth. Buses can go, within reason, anywhere and can change their route quickly based on circumstances or demand. Neat. Cool. I get it.  Buses are easier to operate and yada, yada, yada.  Don't care.  If you can travel by BUS, local bus, than you are an official badass.  

This is a bus.  Not a bus that is related to this story, but the one I could find on this laptop. (Tokyo Disney Resort, Japan)

Trains are my favorite way of getting around because they are just so easy!  You get on the wrong train, oops. No big deal.  Get off at the next stop, change platforms. Odds are you are just going the wrong way on the right line so you take seven steps and get on the other side. Then again, before you get on, most trains actually list all the stops they are going to make so it is easy to check before you get on.  Lovely!  

Limited ways of getting this wrong. (Naha, Japan)

On a BUS, god help you! If your bus line has a route going the other way, and I know I have been on a few that DON'T, you have to run around and try to find the stop.  Usually the best way to find the correct stop is to stand at the wrong stop while thinking that is the correct place to be with a good view of the bus you are looking for to pass by you.   

And then there are time tables.  For whatever reason, time tables always seem to be incredibly optimistic that the reader is clever and can piece together a great deal of information from the smallest clues.  S/S/H: R, :20, :45 T, :11, :37.  In my native tongue I can probably piece together that on Saturdays, Sundays, and Holidays Bus route R arrives at twenty past and forty five past, but if this is all expressed in a foreign language, especially something like Japanese or Arabic, I tend to just shut down and rethink all of my life choices that have led me to being completely monolingual.  

And even if it is written in English, I am an idiot so I might still not be able to piece this together.

So, wanted to get out of Helsinki today. Needed to take a train to a town called Espoo and then a bus to Nuuksionpää. Got to Espoo no problem. Find the big, doesn't move around train station, match the line you want to the platform you need. Maybe check the direction before you commit. Keep track of your progress on the clearly marked route map. Again, no problem.  I GOT this...

And then I got off the train.

Cool.
Shit.
Fuck!

Where are the buses??? Oh, some are there and some are there and some are THERE. Ok... I can do this... 85a. Okay. None of them say letters. Which way am I going??? Let's see... if the sun, typically, rises in the East and sets in the West... I found a stop that says 85...don't know whether it is coming or going. Oh look, 85a, across the street... I can make it (runs) ah, I see. This is the 85 (a?) terminal. Okay. I'll wait back where I was... And there goes the bus again... Damn.

Okay.  So Finland is, indeed, one of those countries where buses don't automatically stop. The other ones at my stop did by coincidence even if no one got on or off, but, yes, Finland is a flag-it-down country.  Good to know.  

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So now I have been standing around for nearly an hour. Pecked this post out on my phone with one finger. The weather is fine, which is nice, and it isn't noon yet, but I keep thinking about giving up...

Also, How do I get a bus ticket? Do I buy it on the bus? I hope so. Every time you ask someone about how to ride the bus, they look at you like your a fucking idiot.  It's different everywhere!  I know it seems apparent and obvious to YOU, you local, but there really are a lot of different ways to Pay For a Bus Ride.  Some places it's a flat fee per ride, but sometimes you pay different amounts based on how far you go.  Sometimes you pay when you get on, but in other places you pay when you get off.  Sometimes you pay the driver, but sometimes you need to pay in advance!  Sometimes you can get a transfer ticket, but sometimes your can't. Do I swipe my bus card, pull a get-on number, buy a ticket at a kiosk, get on from the driver, or, and this is great, is it free?  'Cause that happens, too!

A train is a very independent, empowering mode of transportation. Here I am, World. Bask in the light being given off by this single,stupid American without a sneeze of the local language. I have managed to get from A to B ALL BY MYSELF. Buses are more humbling. Maybe I should study more. I need help. He looks friendly... Nope. Drunk rapist. Damn, the lady over there... No English. How do i say... Never mind! Say the destination with upward intonation! This is now a question? Point to a bus to convey meaning... Meaning is lost! How can she not understand??? Is my pronunciation that bad??? I'll show her the word. Why is she looking at me like that? Why is she using five hundred words when it's pretty obvious the extent of my Finnish is "hei," (which means hello and sounds just like "hey.")??? Oh forget it. I'll just smile and nod like some of that made sense and die on the side of this road.  It's cool.  

Let's try this time table thing again with a little more effort. Hmm, okay.  The next (? Isn't that optimistic of me) 85 I see, I might take off my to and run into the road for just to make sure it sees me. 

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Found a current time table!  That other one is out-of-date!  I missed the 10:52. The next 85a is at 12:12. Going for a walk.
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No, the 12:12 is the 85k. Fuck it. The 85a is at 13:07. I give up.  There is, however, a tourist standing at the same bus stop as me, now.  Tourist who doesn't speak Finnish.  Well, she came all the way out here.  Either she is going some place interesting or visiting friends/family.  Hmm...asking the driver questions and got a ticket. I have no idea where she is going, but I've decided to follow her. "Same."

When in doubt, creep?

I hope she isn'y going to her mom's house before I have a chance to become well acquainted and get an invite.
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Yay!  She ended up going to a museum only three miles away from where I wanted to go!  Ditched the back up Stalk Her plan and made my way to the National Park only four hours or so late!  

Now what?  (Nuuksionpää, Finalnd)