Self explanatory titles are self explanatory. I am going to skip the most obvious one, the whole bit about language barriers and so forth, and delve in. These are in absolutely no order.
10. Don't Drink the Water...
When I first got here, I was really worried about the water. All I could find out about the water was, "don't drink it." Well, what does that MEAN??? Don't use it to brush your teeth 'cause it is full of bacteria and parasites? Or is this like a, "don't drink the water 'cause it has a lot of heavy metals and can cause birth defects in your not-gonna-happen children down the word" kind of deal? I used to use boiled water with a splash of bleach to wash my dishes and purified water to rise them. Then I stopped that. Then I started washing veggies and other foods, like rice, in the tap water since they would be brought to a boil when I cooked. Then I started rinsing my toothbrush with tap. Don't rinse my mouth, yet, but... yeah. Surely I will find the Water Line when I cross it.
9. Fireworks Before 8 am? I'm Gonna Punch a Bitch...
Nah, what you are going to do is sleep through it now most of the time OR just check the time, roll over, and pass out again. Remember, if they don't set off fireworks at 7:00, their neighbors will set off fireworks first and, clearly, he who bangs first, bangs best. Wait. That came out wrong... I think it is the same principal though.
8. Squatty Potties
I used to not be able to do squatty potties. Now, I just don't like them, but whatever. This, however, this still makes me uncomfortable. Stalls. Stalls are good. I don't want to make eye contact with anyone while my oversized butt bared. Also, even if it is a Western toilet, that doesn't mean you can flush the T.P. There something very getting-to-know-you-now about pooping at someone's house and putting that soiled paper, wrapped as best you can, in the bin.
7. "I Don't Like..."
Ha. Hahahahahah! "I don't really like mushrooms." "I am not a fan of eggs." "Not a big cauliflower person." You know what? It's food. It's fine. I can only be so much of a picky eater here. It's probably super salty and oily but whatever. If it ain't fish, and it might be, it's fine.
6. My Floors are Dirty!
Yeah. They are. They always will be. The filth is just how it goes. Don't fight it! Embrace it! Everyone is in the same boat as you and no one judges. You can mop your floors in the morning and be shocked how gritty they are in the afternoon. And, no, I don't wear shoes in my apartment.
5. Why the HELL is a CAR driving the WRONG WAY in the bike lane???
'Cause everyone in Beijing graduated from the I-don't-give-a-fuck school of driving. (shrug) Go around the car. Cars, scooters, pedestrians... yes. They are going to pop out of no where and, no, they aren't going to look before entering traffic. You can park wherever you like. Stop lights don't apply if you are in a hurry. If traffic is bad, hop on the sidewalk. Car in front of you is stopped for a red light and you want to go? Lay on the horn. Why? 'Cause no one gives a fuck.
4. How come no one tells me anything?
'Cause they don't know either. The field trip departure times were posted Friday afternoon. The field trip was on Monday. No one told my coworker so she arrived at her regular time and the school was empty. You can be heading to class and someone will ask why you are at campus because your class has been rescheduled and you have a medical examination at the other campus now. Yeah, actually, just last week there was a field trip I didn't know about, a medical examination at a different building I didn't know about, and I was to accept delivery for water on Friday and leave early... that no one told me about. (shrug) I am TRYING to take my own advice and just roll with stuff, but I am not that kind of person when it comes to work.
3. The Internet is...
Slow? Down? Restricted? Yep. Remember when you used to have to wait to load an image? It's all 2001 nostalgia over here. When the internet is working 'cause, you know, sometimes it just isn't and everyone is cool with that. And, you know, really what do you need to use the internet for if Google, Facebook, and Instagram are all blocked? No Gmail. No Google Maps. No Google Translate. No Blogger. (technically. I mean, I am currently posting on Blogger so, obviously, there is a way. Thank you VPNs.)
2. The air quality is really bad!
I wish I had a better picture, but I don't even notice/care any more. And, honestly, when you know how small pollution molecules are, you wonder what affect aside from Placebo a mask really offers you, but when in Rome...
Somedays the air is thick and grey and you realize your lungs and sinuses are parts of your body that can demand attention. Sometimes the sky is blue and you loose your shit taking pictures. (shrug)
1. "I'm going to pop into the store real quick and pick up..."
Maybe. Maybe. Just because you want something simple, butter for example, and just because the store called it last week and will have it this week, that doesn't mean they will have it today. I've gone to the store for butter, broccoli, lettuce, floss, tampons... things that you just take for granted to be sold in a store 'cause that what stores do... no. Not necessarily. My coworker told me the first time I finally found floss at a store to stock up because, "who know when they will carry it again." Really? This isn't seasonal fruit. It's FLOSS! It's BUTTER. What do you mean you don't have CHICKEN in the meat department today? And, you know, if you DO find something, it's often a compromise. Tampons without applicators are just half the tampon as far as I am concerned.
10. Don't Drink the Water...
When I first got here, I was really worried about the water. All I could find out about the water was, "don't drink it." Well, what does that MEAN??? Don't use it to brush your teeth 'cause it is full of bacteria and parasites? Or is this like a, "don't drink the water 'cause it has a lot of heavy metals and can cause birth defects in your not-gonna-happen children down the word" kind of deal? I used to use boiled water with a splash of bleach to wash my dishes and purified water to rise them. Then I stopped that. Then I started washing veggies and other foods, like rice, in the tap water since they would be brought to a boil when I cooked. Then I started rinsing my toothbrush with tap. Don't rinse my mouth, yet, but... yeah. Surely I will find the Water Line when I cross it.
9. Fireworks Before 8 am? I'm Gonna Punch a Bitch...
Nah, what you are going to do is sleep through it now most of the time OR just check the time, roll over, and pass out again. Remember, if they don't set off fireworks at 7:00, their neighbors will set off fireworks first and, clearly, he who bangs first, bangs best. Wait. That came out wrong... I think it is the same principal though. 8. Squatty Potties
I used to not be able to do squatty potties. Now, I just don't like them, but whatever. This, however, this still makes me uncomfortable. Stalls. Stalls are good. I don't want to make eye contact with anyone while my oversized butt bared. Also, even if it is a Western toilet, that doesn't mean you can flush the T.P. There something very getting-to-know-you-now about pooping at someone's house and putting that soiled paper, wrapped as best you can, in the bin.
7. "I Don't Like..."
Ha. Hahahahahah! "I don't really like mushrooms." "I am not a fan of eggs." "Not a big cauliflower person." You know what? It's food. It's fine. I can only be so much of a picky eater here. It's probably super salty and oily but whatever. If it ain't fish, and it might be, it's fine.
 |
| I could have tried harder to find a WTF lunch pic, but... Purple potato! SOOO GOOD! |
6. My Floors are Dirty!
Yeah. They are. They always will be. The filth is just how it goes. Don't fight it! Embrace it! Everyone is in the same boat as you and no one judges. You can mop your floors in the morning and be shocked how gritty they are in the afternoon. And, no, I don't wear shoes in my apartment.
5. Why the HELL is a CAR driving the WRONG WAY in the bike lane???
'Cause everyone in Beijing graduated from the I-don't-give-a-fuck school of driving. (shrug) Go around the car. Cars, scooters, pedestrians... yes. They are going to pop out of no where and, no, they aren't going to look before entering traffic. You can park wherever you like. Stop lights don't apply if you are in a hurry. If traffic is bad, hop on the sidewalk. Car in front of you is stopped for a red light and you want to go? Lay on the horn. Why? 'Cause no one gives a fuck.
 |
| Eventually this guy decided that this spot was not a parking space. dude. ROAD. |
4. How come no one tells me anything?
'Cause they don't know either. The field trip departure times were posted Friday afternoon. The field trip was on Monday. No one told my coworker so she arrived at her regular time and the school was empty. You can be heading to class and someone will ask why you are at campus because your class has been rescheduled and you have a medical examination at the other campus now. Yeah, actually, just last week there was a field trip I didn't know about, a medical examination at a different building I didn't know about, and I was to accept delivery for water on Friday and leave early... that no one told me about. (shrug) I am TRYING to take my own advice and just roll with stuff, but I am not that kind of person when it comes to work.
 |
| Apparently I have a 3-day training. |
 |
| Apparently we are baking today. |
 |
| Apparently I am seeing a play tonight. |
Slow? Down? Restricted? Yep. Remember when you used to have to wait to load an image? It's all 2001 nostalgia over here. When the internet is working 'cause, you know, sometimes it just isn't and everyone is cool with that. And, you know, really what do you need to use the internet for if Google, Facebook, and Instagram are all blocked? No Gmail. No Google Maps. No Google Translate. No Blogger. (technically. I mean, I am currently posting on Blogger so, obviously, there is a way. Thank you VPNs.)
2. The air quality is really bad!
I wish I had a better picture, but I don't even notice/care any more. And, honestly, when you know how small pollution molecules are, you wonder what affect aside from Placebo a mask really offers you, but when in Rome...Somedays the air is thick and grey and you realize your lungs and sinuses are parts of your body that can demand attention. Sometimes the sky is blue and you loose your shit taking pictures. (shrug)
 |
| HOLY BALLS!!! |
1. "I'm going to pop into the store real quick and pick up..."
Maybe. Maybe. Just because you want something simple, butter for example, and just because the store called it last week and will have it this week, that doesn't mean they will have it today. I've gone to the store for butter, broccoli, lettuce, floss, tampons... things that you just take for granted to be sold in a store 'cause that what stores do... no. Not necessarily. My coworker told me the first time I finally found floss at a store to stock up because, "who know when they will carry it again." Really? This isn't seasonal fruit. It's FLOSS! It's BUTTER. What do you mean you don't have CHICKEN in the meat department today? And, you know, if you DO find something, it's often a compromise. Tampons without applicators are just half the tampon as far as I am concerned.
 |
| This many eggs but no butter or margarine of any sort??? |
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