Frequent Flyers are the Worst.

Have you seen that poem that goes viral every now and again called, "Never Date a Girl who Travels?" It's one of those ironicly written pieces that celebrates the single female traveler, even though solo travel is one of the sectors women are either equally engaged in or exceed their male counterparts, by pointing out what a free-spirited snowflake the lone she-wolf is. It's cute, but it doesn't hit home for me. I don't think solo travelers are even... Good. 

A ticket to see "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime?" How did I know I wanted to go? I love dating me. 

I love long rambles before I get to my topic. A little more patience, I beg you. So, in the past four days I've cancelled two trips with two different people. I was supposed to go hiking with Rachel in New Zealand but I couldn't really make it fit in financially or in the time constraints after going on a Greek cruise with Monica. Well, then the cruise fell through even though I'd already booked a couple of plane tickets around that part of the world. So, for a minute there, I had a few weeks of stumbling around Europe with Monica planned but... 

If I travel with Monica, I'll be WITH someone. I like spending a day with someone. Maybe even a weekend, but weeks??? I...I can't. 

Look, I have friends! Proof!

After texting Monica another change of plans, bravely and not like a coward too afraid to call (cough), I remembered a post I started writing whilst I was walking the beach in Broadstairs which was a nod to the earlier mentioned poem which reduces down to this: Never travel with a person who tend to travels alone. 

A person who travels alone is not used to including others in planning.  They will feel obligated to seek your opinion and then either dismiss it or secretly begrudge you for it if it goes against what they wanted to do in the first place even if, especially if, they didn't know what they wanted to do. He or she will hold your schedules and plans against you if they sometimes differ from their own. 

I know it's cold and ugly, but I'm going hiking. You may come with. 

They will fluctuate madly from incredibly indecisive up until they are at the ticket counter to booking a bus ticket weeks in advance.  There is a hidden method to their madness shaped by years of trials and errors. There are volumes of stories in their head from other travelers they have met that your companion may forget you don't have. 

Random picture of London 'cause I am typing this on my phone and this is what I have to use. 

A person who is used to traveling alone will leave you in at stores and temples. Not because they forgot about you--usually--but because they wanted to go over there and aren't used to dictating every change of location. 

I was going to go to some park but ended up here. Okay. 

Long walks on the beach might be surprisingly longer and more common than you expect and your companion may spend hours comfortably in their own head ignoring your stories. 

I... I think I made a wrong turn in Albuquerque. Probably not supposed to be in the bullring. 

They will ask you the same questions and repeat their own stories not out of rudeness or disinterest but because every friendship made on tracks or trails is temporary and new. Everyone is a short-term friend and committing every tale to take to long term memory isn't necessary. 

Obviously everyone has different levels of comfort with different levels of risk. The more risks you take, the more risks you, consequently, are willing to take. This might show up in odd ways. If you travel with me, you travel with someone who has slept in a park because she didn't have a hotel room. If you travel with me, you will miss the last train sometimes or go the wrong way. You might arrive at that famous whatever after it is closed. There may or may not be food when you want it. You may or may not get a bit banged up. The more bad that happens, the less you care. 

Yeah, I went to E.D.C. Well, I mean, I didn't get IN, but I hung out in the parking lot with friends, had some drinks, and enjoyed the fireworks. 

The solo traveler is used to being solo. Having someone there, the entire time, puts up a barrier between the visitor and everyone else. Just like the Single-Riders line at Disneyland, there are perks to being alone. People treat you different, talk to you more, and while it might be difficult to get two seats next to each other, you can usually squeeze one more person on the bus or in the event. 

Exploring Swedish Parliament... 

Maybe it's just me, but if you are a wandering traveler, you want to exchange information and make empty plans together we both know we will never follow through with: we value the flexibility and freedom of independence more that than comfort and companionship of friends. 

Sorry. It turns out, I don't really want s friend, but I'll like your photos on Facebook if you like mine.